Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
