I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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