so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize