every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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