I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
