It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
