if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
