I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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