If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
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