Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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