I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
