when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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