new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
