I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
