You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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