then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
