I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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