Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
worst night to have a conscience
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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