GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
