as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i now understand why vodka
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
