does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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