girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
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he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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