is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
whose parrot is this?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
