if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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