drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
