one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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