Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
