She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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