I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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