i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
