Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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