Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sext me about skeletons
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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