You work out of a Hotel?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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