You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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