Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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