You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
