Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
