He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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