i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
