what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
