No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
