I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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