I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
