I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
