Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize