Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
