I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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