i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
did you just send me my own nude
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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