just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I AM VODKA MAN
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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