Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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