Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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