we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
