I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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