He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
