a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
