Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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