i barfeds in our rink
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
