He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
